Losing my bestfriend

Late last year I lost my best friend/soul sister and I was devastated and to this day I still have no real reason as to what went wrong between us. I tried to talk to her face to face and she would not come and meet me and in the end wrote me a card telling me why, in a way, as to her decision.

There was a misunderstanding regarding a cot but it was not worth in my opinion of pulling up stumps on a friendship that has spanned for over 20 years and one that had never had any hiccups or bad words ever over this time period.

I had supported her through numerous breakups, an abortion, miscarriages and her recent marriage issues and in return I received the biggest slap to my face by being told it was over and that we had ‘grown apart’.

It sounds like I haven’t moved on and in some respects I haven’t but in other ways I have as there is no point dwelling on something that I know I can never change. I just feel lost without her and the mutual friends we have that also seem to have disengaged themselves from my life.

One mutual friend has been fine and I showed her the letter and she was shocked at what was written to me and that she thought it was a load of crap and something else was going on. She thought the words were very hurtful towards me and couldn’t believe that she had said what she did.

I am writing this post as I read one the other day on lifeloveandhiccups about friendships and I have had this post in my mind for months and finally decided it was time to share.

I think it is more devastating than losing a boyfriend/partner as there were no real signs of the total cut off that was received and how it was delivered.

All I can say is I miss you Honey and wish you all the best and fingers crossed for you and your husband that it all turns out the way you want it to. I miss you terribly and think about you every day of the week. I will move on but it will take me time and the tears I have shed over this are starting to dry which must be a good sign for me at least.

break up letter

break up letter

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4 thoughts on “Losing my bestfriend

  1. I lost my best friend of 12 years over something that in the end seemed trivial and not connected to the real issue. In hindsight I realise it is probably the best thing for both of us, but it took me a long time to see that. It is hard to switch off when you have been such a big part of each other’s lives. Time will help, as will looking forward. I have met some wonderful friends since then (even making new ones in the past month), and I’ve learnt to accept that some friendships won’t always be there, but that’s okay. It’s all part of the learning game of life! xx

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