I am so tired at the moment it is ridiculous. Lots of things going on in my life directly and indirectly and not sure if it is all starting to weigh me down. Tonight is no exception; I’m so tired I could curl up into a ball in my bed and sleep until the morning.
I was sitting on the couch trying to get the little man into his pyjamas, which he wouldn’t, so I blew a massive raspberry on his tummy which set him off into peals of laughter. He then had to reciprocate the action on my tubby tummy and I must admit the feeling of it makes you laugh from deep within! Made me loose that tired feeling for just a moment and I lost myself in the world of a three year old.
We ended up blowing raspberries on each others tummies, necks and chests! Such unabashed joy between the two of us and a beautiful memory as well. How we forget the simple things in life.
Typing this my eyes are getting heavy again and that magical feeling has gone. Even after all the cuddles I got at bed time.
Love my little man with everything I have.
I read somewhere a while ago about forgiving and how it can set your life on a different path and free your soul.
I thought I had forgiven the person that hurt me the most but I have realised over the last few months that this isn’t true as his actions keep hurting me and I can’t seem able to forgive him for his behaviour. I know I have forgotten/blocked out a lot of memories but there are many that feel like they only occurred yesterday instead of 3 years ago.
It is also affecting our son and for that alone I can’t forgive him as he is too young to understand or realise how he is being manipulated by his father.
I want to forgive so that I can be a better person and mother but I am not sure I will ever forget and I think the two are meant to go hand in hand.
Can I do one without the other?
I found two quotes on the internet which I thought were quite apt to my situation.
“Forgiveness does not change the past but it does enlarge the future”
~Paul Boese ~
“Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and …… realising you were the prisoner!”
~ Max Lucado ~
The little man in my life has recently taken to asking for a wedding kiss. I’m not sure where this has come from or how it actually started but it is very cute.
A wedding kiss is a kiss on the back of each of our hands whilst looking in each others eyes. If I don’t look into his eyes he says it is all wrong!
It amazes me what a three year old sees, hears and learns. They say they are sponges and I have to agree with that.