Do you want to know why I’m getting a little bit excited??? Things might finally be turning in a positive direction for me on the work front! If I haven’t mentioned it before I will give you a quick synopses of my current role:
- Job share two days a week – I only perform one task of the job description
- Micro manager – she does everyone’s head in and is more concerned about finding fault (and if not there makes it up) than doing her role
- No room for promotion – dead end position and wasting my skill base on the internet most of the day
- Staff morale low – this is due to the manager and so far two staff members have resigned in two weeks and hoping I might be the third!
If i get the new position it is for a multinational company, very well known brand, and there will be no wasting of my skills and fingers crossed I learn some new ones as well. There is room for promotion which is great and always makes you strive a little harder I believe. I will be job sharing with a friend of mine who I have never worked along side before but we met years ago in the travel industry when I was a BDM and she was working at a travel agency. We hit if off the minute we met and have never looked back! We have the same sense of humour, work ethic and values. Plus are boys are only 6 weeks apart. It will be a five day fortnight so need to look at care for the little man but will cross that bridge when or if I get the position. Less money but I don’t care as the environment has to be better than where I am now.
|Where I used to work as a BDM
I can’t wipe the smile from my face as I am just a LITTLE bit EXCITED that something may go right for me after a few years of struggling through the changes I have encountered.
Ahh the joy that is spreading through my veins is giving me such a high it is ridiculous as I don’t know the outcome of our proposal but by all accounts it is sounding extremely good.
Keep your fingers crossed for me and I will keep you all informed – not that there are many of you out there but hey I can live in hope!!
Not really sure what is happening with me at the moment but feel like the walls are crashing down around me. I really just want to lie in bed and cry a river of tears and hope it all gets better! Not sure that would work long term but short term I’m sure it would as it is a female thing!
I really want to start afresh in a new town or state and see if I can get my life on a better keel and see if that helps me get over this hump in my life at the moment. I know it wouldn’t be easy but hey the life I’m living now isn’t easy either so can’t be any worse of in theory……
I feel that some of my long term friends have ‘dumped’ me due to my status as I never get invited out or even to someone’s house for a coffee. If I don’t contact them they certainly aren’t knocking my door down to see me. It’s funny in a weird way as my ex said this would happened after having the little man and I responded by saying that why would it since they’ve all had kids before me and were still friends. Guess now he was kinda right, as it was always me going to see them and organising movie/dinner/catch ups and now that I haven’t in recent times my life is decidedly empty.
It’s quite said that after 20 odd years in some instances this so called friendships has ripped at the seems and no longer a tangible entity in my life. I guess I never meant as much to them as they did to me.
Today I found one friend has ‘defriended’ me on Facebook. Talk about a kick in the guts that I wasn’t expecting. Nice to know she can so clearly cut me out of her life without even a thank you for all the good times or a goodbye. I am starting to realise that maybe they weren’t friends in the first place or we just needed each other for whatever reason.
The friendship pool is diminishing and it hurts that they can just walk away without a backward glance.
That river of tears has started but need to get it under control as nearly time to cook the little mans dinner and he doesn’t need to see his mum in this state.
I hope the next corner I come to is brightly filled with love, joy, flowers and everything that makes me happy as I think I deserve it.
There are two people in my life that I miss the most at the moment. They are my brother and my best friend Babe.
My brother lives in Perth and there are times I miss him desperately and need his shoulder to cry on and for his reassuring words. He sees things from a different point of view to me, which I need at times. As much as we had our differences growing up, as soon as he moved out things took a change for the better, and as we have gotten older even better. I wish at times so much that he and his gorgeous family didn’t live so far away as I miss them all terribly and would have loved for the little man to have grown up with his only cousins. I talk about/refer to them all the time and the other day he said his three cousins were his brothers and best friends. Talk about making my heart swell and break at the same time. I need my brother more than I’ll Iever admit to him at this time in my life. Mind you he has done more than any sister could ever ask for, as well as his family, and for that I will be forever indebted to them and only hope my munchkin will realise how important his family is in the future.
The second person is Babe. I met her at university and we clicked when we did our industrial year and have never looked backed! We lived together for two years and everybody said we would not be friends at the end, well 17 years later we are still as close as ever; even though she lives in Singapore and I’m a tight arse with my phone. I asked her and her husband to be guardians for my little man in my will and I would do anything to have her back in Melbourne where I could go to her house and drink copious amounts of wine and cry my heart out to her. Again, I miss you Babe more than I can put into words.
It’s hard having two people I want to see on a regular basis so far from me as they know me the best, the good and the bad!
Have you ever been on one of these? I ended the year on one and started the year on one! Not how I planned it at all….
Many of my friends tell me how strong I am, which I may have mentioned before, but in reality I’m not. Munchkins father decided just before Christmas that he had other commitments that would not allow him to see our boy on Christmas Day as per the court orders that have been in place for nearly two years. In one way it was great as I got to spend the entire day with him but he didn’t see his dad, not that he really cared. I found out later that the commitment was surf patrol!!!! As the president can you not change your shift so that you can spend time with your son? Am I asking/assuming too much here?
He did have him on his usual Friday night and then after pick up on the Saturday we flew to South Australia for a mini break. We arrived home on the Wednesday in time for drop off at 4.30pm. I received a few texts with regards to him wanting to change the place for drop off on the Friday night which I wasn’t happy with as had to cancel a play date but was willing to do it. Then I receive a text saying he can’t have him Friday at all as his other children’s nippers carnival had changed and could we swap to Saturday night. Again happy (sort of) to do this and said it would be a 5pm pick up and a 3.30 drop off the next day.
I then received a text saying that “he was beyond wanting to deal with me and he would not be meeting me this week at all and he would see our son the following week.”
This gutted me as I felt extremely upset for the munchkin as I had been saying to him that he was going to see dad that night and then he pulls this crap at the eleventh hour! Makes my blood boil that he can behave in such a manner towards us both and expect that he is constantly in the right.
Not sure if any other single parents out there are in a similar situation or not but I can certainly take or leave this roller coaster I have been riding since we separated over two years ago. It was one of the reasons I went to court to get orders in place so crap like this wouldn’t occur, got that wrong didn’t I?!?
I just have to hope this year is a better year than the past ones…..
I have decided my expectations of my friends is too high. I use only realised this with the spate of 40th birthdays I have had this last half of the year.
Why I hear you ask?
It all has to do with the presents given & the presents received. I’m going to sound horrible but here goes.
I’m the one on a single income working two days a week yet I believe so far I have spent more money on all of my friends than some I’d their presents combined! Sounds harsh but unfortunately it may be the truth. I sound ungrateful, which I’m not, but I’m astounded on what some friends have given me in relation to what I have purchased for them. I tried to be thoughtful and think about what that friend would like and spent time sourcing the gift I gave them for their 40th birthday. I can’t say the same has been reciprocated to me!
One friend, who I would say is one of my best friends, put diddly squat into a combined voucher and a couple of others didn’t fare much better? I know it is not about the ‘tit for tat’ theory but I feel like I have over spent and over thought all the presents so far.
Mind you I did receive some fabulous gifts, some from friends I’ve only known since the munchkin was born.
It all washes out in the end and I needed a little rant. All I can say is there will be no 50th gifts from me!
Have you ever felt the same?
I know that sounds stupid but sometimes I feel like it is true.
As we get older and life takes over, especially children, do we just naturally drift apart or is it something else? In my case being a single mum…..
I have felt left out on the odd occasion throughout the year(s) and maybe I am been precious (that was my nanna’s nickname for me after all) and over sensitive but there is a little piece of me that falls off when I hear about dinners/catch ups after the fact and wonder why I wasn’t invited. Do they think that because I am single I am going to hit on their husband or that I make their table an odd number! Makes you feel so special when you hear the last excuse in particular!!! I would never hit on a friend’s husband even if they were all that was left on the planet; it is not in my conscious to do such a thing.
Maybe I am just having a whinge because I can as I know none of them subscribe to my blog! (I don’t have many followers at all really)
Does being single make it hard for married women to be friends with and or socialise with? I hope not as I am still the same person I was before I just don’t have a partner anymore and have a munchkin instead. Deep down I wonder how they would feel if I stopped inviting them to things that we do. Would they fell hurt or would they brush it off? I have many married and a few still single friends and try to mix up the events so that it is never one nor the other.
Why does life have to get so complicated or why do we have to make it more complicated than it actually is.