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Growing up too quickly

We had to call into the doctors the other day for an asthma plan for the little man as his kinder now require an original not a photocopy.  Whilst we were there he decided to jump on the scales so the doctor weighed him and said “20 kilos.”  I said to him “well he has put on 1.5kg since January this year.”

We then went to Scienceworks on Sunday and they have the sport section where you can weigh and measure your height.  I put him on the scales again and yes he was just over 20kg’s and then onto the height measure.  I finally got him to stand still for a few seconds and measured him at 110cm.   Again since January this year he has grown 5cm!!  No wonder all of his pants are too short that I purchased at the start of the year!

How quickly do your children grow and is mine a freak of nature for a 3 year old??

Below are some photos we took last night as he had ‘harry high pants’ and thought he was pretty funny!

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Why oh why

Last Friday night my little man’s dad came to get him as per usual, I gave the little man a hug & kiss and said have a great night and day.  About 10 minutes later there was a knock at the door; my first thought was ‘bloody marketers’ but low and behold it was my little man with his dad.  His dad said “he doesn’t want to be with me so I’ll see him next week.”  I must have looked dumbstruck as when we were together he always forced his children to see him on his weekends.  I asked the little man if he was ok and why he didn’t want to go to dads that night.  He said “the other kids are there and don’t want to go.”  He’s three so I thought ok extra time for me on the weekend! Selfish I know but I’ll take all the time I can.

Yesterday I thought I’d do the right thing and ask the ex what happened in the car so we could work on it together.  Why oh why did I do that as I received an essay back saying everything I was doing wrong.  I will give you a highlight from each paragraph.
  • My farewell is a song and dance and clingy with hugs and kisses whilst his is quick and clean.
  • Apparently it has happened before (never mentioned to me) and he didn’t want to deal with it again. I give to many kisses which makes him not want to leave me as I’ll be utterly miserable without him.
  • Rare for me say goodbye once and then move away, apparently I hover and wave to the little man.
  • The little man is always happy to see me at pick ups and not in tears (why this is my fault not sure).
  • The ex has trouble engaging the little man in conversation, thinks his sullen & withdrawn.  Ignores his new wife and the other five kids, again how is this my fault?
  • I need to curtail my farewells reigning in my goodbyes so that the little man’s head is in the “right” space and to enforce how good a time he’ll have at his dads!
  • Not allowed to empty the letterbox on the exes time as gives mixed messages to the little man??? A simple goodbye at the door and no hover in the future.
  • Improve his self confidence so he doesn’t cling to legs when he goes to school (two years away), and that separation is not a bad thing.
  • The ex has an intolerance to his  bad manners because he says ‘I want’ instead of ‘may I please’.
  • Appreciate my consideration on these points.
Why oh why did I ask the question????  I’d like to say that my little man is quite fine saying goodbye to me at daycare & kinder as well as any other time I might leave him.  His manners are bloody good for a three year old and I’m sorry a mother is allowed to hug and kiss her child at goodbye and I don’t hover at all I just show affection to my son.  Yes I miss him when he’s not with me and I tell him this occasionally, he now says ‘I miss you mum’.  I don’t believe this is bad or detrimental to his development or impacts on him wanting to go to his dads house.  As for ignoring your wife and kids who can blame him when there are five other kids there and by the sounds of it he is left to his own devices most of the time or dragged to their sporting events.
I could rant all night but won’t.  We went out for dinner tonight to Pinocchio’s pizza and they had drawings around the restaurant.  I hope my exes lies make his nose grow and to stop blaming me because he can’t relate/deal with his son whilst in his care.

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Puddle jumping

How I wish I could be as carefree as my child is.  Even though there seems to be more restrictions and less playing outside by themselves they do have moments of being carefree and having fun.  I know why I didn’t jump in the puddle as I didn’t want to get dirty but really is that a good enough reason to not jump?

We were are the park at the end of our street a few weeks back, I just found the photos on my phone, and there was a puddle which my little man couldn’t not jump into a multitude of times and his boots were saturated but he had lots of fun doing it!

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Life ain’t grand at present

Not really sure what is happening with me at the moment but feel like the walls are crashing down around me. I really just want to lie in bed and cry a river of tears and hope it all gets better! Not sure that would work long term but short term I’m sure it would as it is a female thing!

I really want to start afresh in a new town or state and see if I can get my life on a better keel and see if that helps me get over this hump in my life at the moment. I know it wouldn’t be easy but hey the life I’m living now isn’t easy either so can’t be any worse of in theory……

I feel that some of my long term friends have ‘dumped’ me due to my status as I never get invited out or even to someone’s house for a coffee. If I don’t contact them they certainly aren’t knocking my door down to see me. It’s funny in a weird way as my ex said this would happened after having the little man and I responded by saying that why would it since they’ve all had kids before me and were still friends. Guess now he was kinda right, as it was always me going to see them and organising movie/dinner/catch ups and now that I haven’t in recent times my life is decidedly empty.

It’s quite said that after 20 odd years in some instances this so called friendships has ripped at the seems and no longer a tangible entity in my life. I guess I never meant as much to them as they did to me.

Today I found one friend has ‘defriended’ me on Facebook. Talk about a kick in the guts that I wasn’t expecting. Nice to know she can so clearly cut me out of her life without even a thank you for all the good times or a goodbye. I am starting to realise that maybe they weren’t friends in the first place or we just needed each other for whatever reason.

The friendship pool is diminishing and it hurts that they can just walk away without a backward glance.

That river of tears has started but need to get it under control as nearly time to cook the little mans dinner and he doesn’t need to see his mum in this state.

I hope the next corner I come to is brightly filled with love, joy, flowers and everything that makes me happy as I think I deserve it.

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Finally opened a Christmas present

The other day I decided I really should open the present that the little man received from his cousins in WA.  As we live in a smallish two bedroom unit therefore space is not high on the list of positives about this place.  It was fine before a beautiful now three year old came into my life, now it is over run with his dump trucks, bikes and copious toys in general.  Anyhoo thought it was time to pull out the indoor pirate tent.  Upon realising how easy it is to assemble or pack away I should have opened it long before March!

He played in it the first couple of days and even wanted to sleep in there but hasn’t really touched it since; mind you it is up next to the tv so forefront in his eye sight.  Might be time to put it away I think as my motto is if not used put it away.

Next thing I really want to ‘put away’ is his train table as I could then set up his bedroom to resemble a bedroom and maybe even attempt a theme.

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The two people I miss the most

There are two people in my life that I miss the most at the moment. They are my brother and my best friend Babe.

My brother lives in Perth and there are times I miss him desperately and need his shoulder to cry on and for his reassuring words. He sees things from a different point of view to me, which I need at times. As much as we had our differences growing up, as soon as he moved out things took a change for the better, and as we have gotten older even better. I wish at times so much that he and his gorgeous family didn’t live so far away as I miss them all terribly and would have loved for the little man to have grown up with his only cousins. I talk about/refer to them all the time and the other day he said his three cousins were his brothers and best friends. Talk about making my heart swell and break at the same time. I need my brother more than I’ll Iever admit to him at this time in my life. Mind you he has done more than any sister could ever ask for, as well as his family, and for that I will be forever indebted to them and only hope my munchkin will realise how important his family is in the future.

The second person is Babe. I met her at university and we clicked when we did our industrial year and have never looked backed! We lived together for two years and everybody said we would not be friends at the end, well 17 years later we are still as close as ever; even though she lives in Singapore and I’m a tight arse with my phone. I asked her and her husband to be guardians for my little man in my will and I would do anything to have her back in Melbourne where I could go to her house and drink copious amounts of wine and cry my heart out to her. Again, I miss you Babe more than I can put into words.

It’s hard having two people I want to see on a regular basis so far from me as they know me the best, the good and the bad!

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life through a smiling three year old

This post is mainly to do with the photos below of my little man having some fun whilst we have been enjoying the summer sun last week in Melbourne. The days I don’t work I try and get out for at least half the day to entertain him and to ensure that he is stimulated through different aspects of life and will hopefully remember his childhood as full of fun things and new adventures.

sandy chin at the beach

sandy chin at the beach

ice cream on my nose

ice cream on my nose

laughing at himself at the park

laughing at himself at the park

fun in the nude

fun in the nude

new hair cut

new hair cut

framing myself with my fingers!

framing myself with my fingers

I love the happiness he brings to me on days that I am not feeling the best or coping due to issues with his dad.

As the saying goes “you are the light of my life!”