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Losing my bestfriend

Late last year I lost my best friend/soul sister and I was devastated and to this day I still have no real reason as to what went wrong between us. I tried to talk to her face to face and she would not come and meet me and in the end wrote me a card telling me why, in a way, as to her decision.

There was a misunderstanding regarding a cot but it was not worth in my opinion of pulling up stumps on a friendship that has spanned for over 20 years and one that had never had any hiccups or bad words ever over this time period.

I had supported her through numerous breakups, an abortion, miscarriages and her recent marriage issues and in return I received the biggest slap to my face by being told it was over and that we had ‘grown apart’.

It sounds like I haven’t moved on and in some respects I haven’t but in other ways I have as there is no point dwelling on something that I know I can never change. I just feel lost without her and the mutual friends we have that also seem to have disengaged themselves from my life.

One mutual friend has been fine and I showed her the letter and she was shocked at what was written to me and that she thought it was a load of crap and something else was going on. She thought the words were very hurtful towards me and couldn’t believe that she had said what she did.

I am writing this post as I read one the other day on lifeloveandhiccups about friendships and I have had this post in my mind for months and finally decided it was time to share.

I think it is more devastating than losing a boyfriend/partner as there were no real signs of the total cut off that was received and how it was delivered.

All I can say is I miss you Honey and wish you all the best and fingers crossed for you and your husband that it all turns out the way you want it to. I miss you terribly and think about you every day of the week. I will move on but it will take me time and the tears I have shed over this are starting to dry which must be a good sign for me at least.

break up letter

break up letter

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The two people I miss the most

There are two people in my life that I miss the most at the moment. They are my brother and my best friend Babe.

My brother lives in Perth and there are times I miss him desperately and need his shoulder to cry on and for his reassuring words. He sees things from a different point of view to me, which I need at times. As much as we had our differences growing up, as soon as he moved out things took a change for the better, and as we have gotten older even better. I wish at times so much that he and his gorgeous family didn’t live so far away as I miss them all terribly and would have loved for the little man to have grown up with his only cousins. I talk about/refer to them all the time and the other day he said his three cousins were his brothers and best friends. Talk about making my heart swell and break at the same time. I need my brother more than I’ll Iever admit to him at this time in my life. Mind you he has done more than any sister could ever ask for, as well as his family, and for that I will be forever indebted to them and only hope my munchkin will realise how important his family is in the future.

The second person is Babe. I met her at university and we clicked when we did our industrial year and have never looked backed! We lived together for two years and everybody said we would not be friends at the end, well 17 years later we are still as close as ever; even though she lives in Singapore and I’m a tight arse with my phone. I asked her and her husband to be guardians for my little man in my will and I would do anything to have her back in Melbourne where I could go to her house and drink copious amounts of wine and cry my heart out to her. Again, I miss you Babe more than I can put into words.

It’s hard having two people I want to see on a regular basis so far from me as they know me the best, the good and the bad!

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