How do you help a friend who has just found out she has a really bad form of breast cancer and is also going through a messy separation and custody hearing right this instant?!
I have told her I will do anything for her except vomit – never been good with it but improving now I have the little man to deal with when he is sick. I will wash, clean, shop, bake, fold, iron, pick up/drop off her kids to care, take them to the park and absolutely anything else that she may require during this time but I still feel like it may not be enough. I would even go wig shopping with her if she wanted me to.
I’m staying positive when I am with her but feel like crumbling when alone as no one deserves this and especially a mother of two adorable boys who are not even school age. My sister in laws sister (get that?) was diagnosed about 4 years ago when she was breastfeeding her youngest and due to her living in Sydney I didn’t have a lot to do with her but remember hearing the stories from my brother or sister in law.
It is harrowing.
I will stay as strong as possible for her but I’m sure there will be times when we will have a cry together as well which will be good for both of us.
She had a heap of scans on Friday and waiting to get the results this week as well as in court this week to sort out the custody of her kids with her ex. Talk about everything happening at once in her life!!
If anybody out there knows of some great things to do for someone who is ill please let me know or what to take with you whilst you are having chemo etc…. I have some ideas but not sure what is right or wrong on this situation.
Positive thoughts and smiles, hugs and kisses to my friend.
Before having the little man I never realised how hard it was going to be to get him into kinder in the council I reside in!!! I struggled this year with 3 year old and finally we were accepted into the one that is about 300m from our front door! YAY for me!!! We scooter on a Wednesday and ride the bike on Friday’s; we love to mix things up in our house.
I have found out, being a member of the committee has its perks, that there are not enough spots for 4 year old kinder next year if all current 3 year olds accept and there are four repeating 4 year old kinder next year as well. I am starting to be quite concerned that he is going to have to go to a new kinder and make new friends again and we are not going to get the preference that we want.
The funny thing is the group we are in all residing in the same street or one that is two streets away from the kinder. One of the criteria through the council is that you have to live within 2km of the kinder yet none of us were accepted in the first or second round offers. How does the council see that as fair and reasonable? It is a balls up if you ask me and there was uproar last year so imagine there will be another this year if we are all not accepted yet live closer than most who attend.
All I want for the little man is to have a settled life for his kinder years as I have had to, unfortunately, swap his child care each year which I have not liked but had no other option. He has made some lovely friends at kinder and the mum’s are not bad either! Mind you his current child care could be closing at the end of this year so that could mean two massive changes next year before school.
Ahhh my life never runs smoothly that is for sure. Keep your fingers crossed for us everyone as I need all the help I can get on this front.
We have been on a few adventures as the little man likes to call them. First off we went to Collingwood Children’s farm with a girlfriend and her daughter. Again a beautiful sunny winter’s day for us to be out in the fresh air. The little man was a bit disappointed as last time we went we had free pony rides and tractor rides; this time neither were on offer.
Duck having a bath 1
Duck having a bath 2
old plough in pigsty
After wondering through the farm and getting up-close and personal with some goats we decided that they had had enough so time to depart. Although the best part for me was seeing Chris Judd there! Pity I hadn’t put the little man’s Carlton jumper on that day as I might have gotten it signed!! He was there with his family enjoying the sun as well.
We also went back to Werribee Zoo to see the animals and go on the safari bus. The little man loves this bus and I have to keep telling him to keep his arms in the windows as they might get bitten off!! Not really but only thing that makes sense to him.
my safari boy
riding a hippo
This is a great zoo for kids around the age of 3.5 as it only takes about two hours to see everything, One hour walking around and seeing the animals in their natural habitat, having a bit of a play on the old ‘wrecked’ boat and digging for dinosaurs in the sandpit. Then onto the safari bus and you are done and dusted around the two hour mark. Home before the tantrums begin or the whinging sets in.
Gotta love a day like that!
I just realised that I last posted on May 6!! That is nearly two months ago. So much has happened in-between drinks, no I mean posts!
I had a car accident and still don’t have my baby back and I’m hoping it will be here before the end of July but not holding out much hope. I will explain all in another post and pictures as well of the damage.
I have changed jobs and starting to settle into my new job share role with a girlfriend of mine. We work a 5 day fortnight so one week I work 2 days and the following week 3 days. Still trying to get my head around all the new processes and data but seem to be settling in quite well. Again more in another post as I need to start writing again.
More issues with the little man’s father and that is doing my head in. I’m lucky I have the will power to only have 1 glass of wine, when a bottle is open, and not the entire bottle at times!!! A little teaser for you, the little man had gastro the other week and he vomited in his dad’s car on the way to his house. When I arrived to get him the next afternoon waiting on the doorstep for me was the car seat, clothes and Pooh bear all soiled from the vomit the previous night. What sort of parent and step parent doesn’t clean up vomit??? The mind boggles, well mine does anyway.
I’m starting a new exercise training program tomorrow and very excited about that as need to loose the baby weight from nearly 4 years ago. Looking forward to doing something different and for me for a change and I have never seen or heard of this training method but results are meant to good.
Another girlfriend has just told her husband that they are over so trying to be a shoulder for her and some advice of what to do and what to look out for. I don’t have all if any answers for her but can only tell her about my experiences and I was never married!
Keep your eye out for some upcoming posts as I really want to get back into this as it is solace at times for my well being and a venting outlet as well. Although I do try to not do this that often as no one wants to hear about my woes.
Feels good to be taping away at the keys again, hope you enjoy hearing from me again as well.
On Sunday we met up with a mum and her daughter from mothers group and the kids had a scooter around the council car park as the skate park was occupied with two 6 year olds ‘things’ I didn’t realise 6 year olds were meant to know how to do on a skateboard!! Ignorant I know….
We then heading to the park for a bit where they climbed over everything swung on the swings and slid down the slide. We then realised the little kids had gone so it was our time to hit the skate bowl and see their scootering skills. It was very cute to watch as they both just went around and around the bottom with little rides up the incline, but hey they enjoyed it and that is all as a parent you can ask for.
Then as the weather seemed to get colder by the second we decided it was time to go home. On the way out of the park this is the image we as mums were looking at.
Two beautiful children holding hands as they chatted on the walk home. Too cute for words and melts your heart.
Not really sure what is happening with me at the moment but feel like the walls are crashing down around me. I really just want to lie in bed and cry a river of tears and hope it all gets better! Not sure that would work long term but short term I’m sure it would as it is a female thing!
I really want to start afresh in a new town or state and see if I can get my life on a better keel and see if that helps me get over this hump in my life at the moment. I know it wouldn’t be easy but hey the life I’m living now isn’t easy either so can’t be any worse of in theory……
I feel that some of my long term friends have ‘dumped’ me due to my status as I never get invited out or even to someone’s house for a coffee. If I don’t contact them they certainly aren’t knocking my door down to see me. It’s funny in a weird way as my ex said this would happened after having the little man and I responded by saying that why would it since they’ve all had kids before me and were still friends. Guess now he was kinda right, as it was always me going to see them and organising movie/dinner/catch ups and now that I haven’t in recent times my life is decidedly empty.
It’s quite said that after 20 odd years in some instances this so called friendships has ripped at the seems and no longer a tangible entity in my life. I guess I never meant as much to them as they did to me.
Today I found one friend has ‘defriended’ me on Facebook. Talk about a kick in the guts that I wasn’t expecting. Nice to know she can so clearly cut me out of her life without even a thank you for all the good times or a goodbye. I am starting to realise that maybe they weren’t friends in the first place or we just needed each other for whatever reason.
The friendship pool is diminishing and it hurts that they can just walk away without a backward glance.
That river of tears has started but need to get it under control as nearly time to cook the little mans dinner and he doesn’t need to see his mum in this state.
I hope the next corner I come to is brightly filled with love, joy, flowers and everything that makes me happy as I think I deserve it.
There are two people in my life that I miss the most at the moment. They are my brother and my best friend Babe.
My brother lives in Perth and there are times I miss him desperately and need his shoulder to cry on and for his reassuring words. He sees things from a different point of view to me, which I need at times. As much as we had our differences growing up, as soon as he moved out things took a change for the better, and as we have gotten older even better. I wish at times so much that he and his gorgeous family didn’t live so far away as I miss them all terribly and would have loved for the little man to have grown up with his only cousins. I talk about/refer to them all the time and the other day he said his three cousins were his brothers and best friends. Talk about making my heart swell and break at the same time. I need my brother more than I’ll Iever admit to him at this time in my life. Mind you he has done more than any sister could ever ask for, as well as his family, and for that I will be forever indebted to them and only hope my munchkin will realise how important his family is in the future.
The second person is Babe. I met her at university and we clicked when we did our industrial year and have never looked backed! We lived together for two years and everybody said we would not be friends at the end, well 17 years later we are still as close as ever; even though she lives in Singapore and I’m a tight arse with my phone. I asked her and her husband to be guardians for my little man in my will and I would do anything to have her back in Melbourne where I could go to her house and drink copious amounts of wine and cry my heart out to her. Again, I miss you Babe more than I can put into words.
It’s hard having two people I want to see on a regular basis so far from me as they know me the best, the good and the bad!