How do you help a friend who has just found out she has a really bad form of breast cancer and is also going through a messy separation and custody hearing right this instant?!
I have told her I will do anything for her except vomit – never been good with it but improving now I have the little man to deal with when he is sick. I will wash, clean, shop, bake, fold, iron, pick up/drop off her kids to care, take them to the park and absolutely anything else that she may require during this time but I still feel like it may not be enough. I would even go wig shopping with her if she wanted me to.
I’m staying positive when I am with her but feel like crumbling when alone as no one deserves this and especially a mother of two adorable boys who are not even school age. My sister in laws sister (get that?) was diagnosed about 4 years ago when she was breastfeeding her youngest and due to her living in Sydney I didn’t have a lot to do with her but remember hearing the stories from my brother or sister in law.
It is harrowing.
I will stay as strong as possible for her but I’m sure there will be times when we will have a cry together as well which will be good for both of us.
She had a heap of scans on Friday and waiting to get the results this week as well as in court this week to sort out the custody of her kids with her ex. Talk about everything happening at once in her life!!
If anybody out there knows of some great things to do for someone who is ill please let me know or what to take with you whilst you are having chemo etc…. I have some ideas but not sure what is right or wrong on this situation.
Positive thoughts and smiles, hugs and kisses to my friend.
Late last year I lost my best friend/soul sister and I was devastated and to this day I still have no real reason as to what went wrong between us. I tried to talk to her face to face and she would not come and meet me and in the end wrote me a card telling me why, in a way, as to her decision.
There was a misunderstanding regarding a cot but it was not worth in my opinion of pulling up stumps on a friendship that has spanned for over 20 years and one that had never had any hiccups or bad words ever over this time period.
I had supported her through numerous breakups, an abortion, miscarriages and her recent marriage issues and in return I received the biggest slap to my face by being told it was over and that we had ‘grown apart’.
It sounds like I haven’t moved on and in some respects I haven’t but in other ways I have as there is no point dwelling on something that I know I can never change. I just feel lost without her and the mutual friends we have that also seem to have disengaged themselves from my life.
One mutual friend has been fine and I showed her the letter and she was shocked at what was written to me and that she thought it was a load of crap and something else was going on. She thought the words were very hurtful towards me and couldn’t believe that she had said what she did.
I am writing this post as I read one the other day on lifeloveandhiccups about friendships and I have had this post in my mind for months and finally decided it was time to share.
I think it is more devastating than losing a boyfriend/partner as there were no real signs of the total cut off that was received and how it was delivered.
All I can say is I miss you Honey and wish you all the best and fingers crossed for you and your husband that it all turns out the way you want it to. I miss you terribly and think about you every day of the week. I will move on but it will take me time and the tears I have shed over this are starting to dry which must be a good sign for me at least.
break up letter
Not really sure what is happening with me at the moment but feel like the walls are crashing down around me. I really just want to lie in bed and cry a river of tears and hope it all gets better! Not sure that would work long term but short term I’m sure it would as it is a female thing!
I really want to start afresh in a new town or state and see if I can get my life on a better keel and see if that helps me get over this hump in my life at the moment. I know it wouldn’t be easy but hey the life I’m living now isn’t easy either so can’t be any worse of in theory……
I feel that some of my long term friends have ‘dumped’ me due to my status as I never get invited out or even to someone’s house for a coffee. If I don’t contact them they certainly aren’t knocking my door down to see me. It’s funny in a weird way as my ex said this would happened after having the little man and I responded by saying that why would it since they’ve all had kids before me and were still friends. Guess now he was kinda right, as it was always me going to see them and organising movie/dinner/catch ups and now that I haven’t in recent times my life is decidedly empty.
It’s quite said that after 20 odd years in some instances this so called friendships has ripped at the seems and no longer a tangible entity in my life. I guess I never meant as much to them as they did to me.
Today I found one friend has ‘defriended’ me on Facebook. Talk about a kick in the guts that I wasn’t expecting. Nice to know she can so clearly cut me out of her life without even a thank you for all the good times or a goodbye. I am starting to realise that maybe they weren’t friends in the first place or we just needed each other for whatever reason.
The friendship pool is diminishing and it hurts that they can just walk away without a backward glance.
That river of tears has started but need to get it under control as nearly time to cook the little mans dinner and he doesn’t need to see his mum in this state.
I hope the next corner I come to is brightly filled with love, joy, flowers and everything that makes me happy as I think I deserve it.